Meditation

Tonight I joined a Zen meditation group at university. Zen meditation is part of Zen Bhuddism. Usual sitting meditation sessions require 40 minutes of sitting, motionless, eyes open, with the mind empty. The session is initiated with the chiming of the bell. Of course, at this moment, every nerve in my body tingles and I notice that I have a dreadful itch in the right ear and on my left shoulder. Everyone around me is motionless so I cannot scratch! That's exactly the point! To sit with yourself as you are. For a moment I thought I might cry, it's been an emotional time. So I started counting my breaths, 1 to 10, 1 to 10. That helped, I forgot my itches (which goes to show that itching is psychological, like being ticklish)! But alas, these unpleasant sensations were replaced with an irresistible urge to sleep. I found myself nodding off to be awoken by the sudden swing of my body falling like a tree under the axe. It was hard, truly hard. And afterwards, I didn't feel peaceful, just sleepy. I think I'll try this technique next time I have insomnia.

So why meditation? I'm exploring spirituality, mostly I'm looking for inner calm, enlignment, maybe I'll become a better person or more fulflled, maybe I'll make new friends. Who knows? I'm curious. It's been around for 1000's of years, it must have something going for it. I don't expect to experience anything profound soon, that would be too easy. Nothing worthwhile is easy.